In Awe Of Yourself
and having the language to capture something that has always been true.
This is a portion of an email I sent from subscribers on my site nyasabernathy.com. I really wanted to share with readers here because 1) of some advice
gave me that one time and 2) I have found words for something I have been trying to force a language around for so long.And it has to do with my work here and everywhere.
I hate we are trained in the U.S. to ask a question I've come to dread: "So, what do you do?"
This means we end up talking about however we earn money at the time. There is no elaboration needed when someone asks that question, no need to add "for work" at the end. Why? Because in the U.S. everything, especially our value, is centered around our productivity. Even the process of meeting new people.
I've come to feel this is insidious. And it has become the most difficult, exhausting, borderline painful question for me to answer.
Until about a week ago.
This question didn't become easier after a $5000 marketing intensive, or taking a bunch of branding classes, or hiring anyone to do anything. For me, I believe with all my heart none of that would have helped me anyway.
My journey to answering this question required challenge, failure, growth, and time.
And connection. Always, always connection.
Like a bloom on a stalk that wasn't there yesterday but opened up right in front of me bright and fragrant, big and bold.
About a week ago I was catching up with a dear friend. As I was sharing vocational updates, without forethought the sentence, "I just want to inspire people to be in awe of themselves," showed up, rolling off my tongue.
I paused, then added, "That's good, I should write that down."
It's to be noted I am the queen of NOT writing things I say down, so it was surprising for me to do this. As I archived the phrase that seemed to blink into existence, it became evident that this was the way I could categorize any - yes any - of my work.
As a writer I want my words to leave you in awe of yourself.
As a facilitator I want you to experience self-awe when you are in a space and experience I have curated.
As a guide I want you to experience me model and you having the grace to practice being in awe of yourself during 1-on-1s.
When you listen to one of my audio journeys or visualizations - I want you to immerse your imagination in the awe of you.
When I focus on Dignity, it's because I want you to be in awe of yourself.
When I focus on Wonder, I want you to be in awe of yourself.
This feels like...electricity. Like a spark has connected and set every point of light aflame. It feels true and right and comprehensive while not being restrictive or prescriptive in any way. I could work at Costco and say, I inspire people to be in awe of themselves, and not be lying or overexaggerating.
Because this is more than just a function or a set of tasks. It's more expansive than productivity could ever be. This is how and why I show up in the world as myself - to help you be in awe of yourself.
Turning awe inward is the central theme when I run workshops and when I play outside with my kids. It's my motivation when I host karaoke and write about the cosmos. The inward gaze of awe is why I hug my Beloveds extra long and why I stepped away from the deadening grind of U.S. productivity during this past winter.
The awe of being who you are is not to be earned once you've snagged that accomplishment or done the thing perfectly or healed enough. I echo what a wise soul1 once said to me: "I believe in the magic of being yourself." And I'll add right now.
With whatever feels flawed and messy and confusing and not enough.
When you feel broken or lost or alone or just plain wrong.
Lift your head, beloved. Just enough to hear me say, "I'm in awe of you right now."
May you believe it in the depths of your soul. If not today, then one day.
And may my voice always be a reminder of the location of your intrinsic worth & wonder.
That wise soul is my 8 year old.
This brought tears to my eyes and resonates deeply. I remember a few years back realizing how much I HATED writing and giving my 'bio.' I had a similar experience of being done attaching my value and my passion and the ways I wanted to show up in the world (liberation, healing, joy, peace, pleasure, love) and that changed the way I spoke about myself and the work I do. Thank you for sharing this reflection. Your words always inspire me to awe and wonder Nya.
I love your 8-year-old. And you. I also took photos of a magnolia flower this week. 🤍